What One Will Do For Love.

*driving to store*

Daughter: "Ewww!, this stinks....smell it!"

Dad: "What!? Why?! What stinks and why do I need to smell it?"

Daughter: "This!"

Dad: "I'm driving, just tell me what it is."

Daughter: "My monkey, my monkey stinks."

....long slightly uneasy pause......

Dad: "What did you say?"

Daughter: "My monkey stinks, here, sniff it; it stinks!"

Dad: *comes to red light, turns to see Daughter holding up a toy monkey*

Daughter: "Well?!"

Dad: leans over and sniffs oddly and amazingly stinky toy monkey....

I know my A,B,3's!

*Pointing at title of book*

Dad: "Chloe, what are these letters?"

Daughter: "G-O"

Dad: "What does that spell?"

Daughter: "Go!"

Dad: "Yes! That's great!!"

*high-fives exchanged, daughter gets excited*

Dad: "OK, what are these letters?"

Daughter: "W-E"

Dad: "And what does that spell?"

Daughter: "Exercise!"

Dad:.............?

Honesty...the "Fresh-Maker"

*laying in bed reading to a sad looking Chloe*

Dad: "Hey, you look sad. Is there something you want to talk about?"

Daughter: "I'm sorry I said I don't love you anymore."

Dad: "Oh sweety, it's ok, I know it's frustrating to have to be told it's time for bed. I know you want to stay up and play but you have school in the morning and you are tired. I am very proud of you for having the courage to apologize. We all say things we sometimes don't mean and I understand, and I know you love me and I love you more than anything in the whole world."

Daughter: "Am I the most important thing in the whole world?"

Dad: "Yes, you certainly are."

Daughter: "Am I beautiful?"

Dad: "Yes, the most beautiful!"

Daughter: "Your breath stinks...."

Dad: *blank stare-turns, clears throat, and continues reading*

The Dead are Gross

*driving back from school*

Daughter: "Ooooh! Look at that!!!!!!!"

Dad: *looks to the left to see a cemetary* "Ah, yeah a cememtary."

Daughter: "That's where you go when you are sad to put up flowers and letters."

Dad: "Uh yes, that's true." "Do you know what a cemetary is?"

Daughter: "No."

Dad: "It's a place that we bury the dead." "When someone dies we place them in the ground and mark where they are buried so we can come and visit them."

Daughter: *incredibly long pause..........* "EEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Training Bras

Daughter: *getting dressed for school* "I've got little boobies."

Dad: "Those are nipples, and yes now they are little."

Daughter: "When I grow up I am going to have big boobies like you."

Dad: *sigh....* ".....thanks, let's get dressed we're going to be late."

Interrupted Movements

Dad: *staring forward at a wall, relaxing, and trying to discreetly use the restroom*

Daughter: *standing 4 inches from my face while pinching her nose* "Is it going to stink in here?!"

Dad: *giant heaving sigh*

Whiner

Dad: Are you finished with your fries?

Daughter: Uh, yeah.

Dad: Ok, I am going to eat just these two then.

Daughter: You already ate 2.

Dad: (mouth full of fries) OK, well then I will eat these two too.

Daughter: You can't talk with your mouth full.

Dad: Ok, ok, ok!

Long Pause......

Daughter: You're still doing it.

Dad: Leave me alone.

Daughter: Stop Whining.

Dad: *chokes*