The Dead are Gross

*driving back from school*

Daughter: "Ooooh! Look at that!!!!!!!"

Dad: *looks to the left to see a cemetary* "Ah, yeah a cememtary."

Daughter: "That's where you go when you are sad to put up flowers and letters."

Dad: "Uh yes, that's true." "Do you know what a cemetary is?"

Daughter: "No."

Dad: "It's a place that we bury the dead." "When someone dies we place them in the ground and mark where they are buried so we can come and visit them."

Daughter: *incredibly long pause..........* "EEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Training Bras

Daughter: *getting dressed for school* "I've got little boobies."

Dad: "Those are nipples, and yes now they are little."

Daughter: "When I grow up I am going to have big boobies like you."

Dad: *sigh....* ".....thanks, let's get dressed we're going to be late."

Interrupted Movements

Dad: *staring forward at a wall, relaxing, and trying to discreetly use the restroom*

Daughter: *standing 4 inches from my face while pinching her nose* "Is it going to stink in here?!"

Dad: *giant heaving sigh*

Whiner

Dad: Are you finished with your fries?

Daughter: Uh, yeah.

Dad: Ok, I am going to eat just these two then.

Daughter: You already ate 2.

Dad: (mouth full of fries) OK, well then I will eat these two too.

Daughter: You can't talk with your mouth full.

Dad: Ok, ok, ok!

Long Pause......

Daughter: You're still doing it.

Dad: Leave me alone.

Daughter: Stop Whining.

Dad: *chokes*

The Raspberry Chicken

Daughter: You shouldn't eat berries.

Dad: Well, some berries you shouldn't eat.

Daughter: Why?

Dad: Well some are poisonous and will make you sick.

Daughter: What kind can you eat?

Dad: Strawberries.

Daughter: I don't like strawberries.

Dad: Raspberries.

Daughter: I don't like raspberries. I like chicken, but not raspberry chickens.

Thunder Cats....Who?

Daughter: "Can I have some more milk"

Dad: "Sure, go get the milk out of the fridge."

Daughter: *walks into the kitchen, gets milks, and struggles to bring it to me*

Dad: "Thanks." *pours milk*

Daughter" Thank you Daddy, I'll go put it back."

Dad: "Ok"

Daughter: *returns to couch to finish watching Totoro* "Am I a finder girl?"

Dad: "What? a Thunder Cat?"

Daughter: "No, a finder girl."

Dad: "What's a finder girl?"

Daughter: "A girl that finds things."

Dad: *staring at ceiling dumbfounded* "Yes, you're a finder girl."

Daughter: "I like cheese."

Dad: "You need to go to bed."

Daughter: "No...you do."

Bees and Love in General

-walking through the city, coming back from the grocers, holding hands-

Daughter: "Ahh! I don't like bees!"

Dad: "Bees won't hurt you"

Daughter: "They can sting you!"

Dad: "Well, yeah but only if they are threatened. If you leave them alone they won't hurt you."

Daughter: "I still don't like them."

Dad: "That's fine."

Daughter: "Will you protect me from bees?"

Dad: "Of course I will!"

Daughter: "Thank you daddy, I love you so much."

Dad: "I love you too pumpkin!"

-pause while waiting for the light to change-

Daughter: "But I love everyone."

Dad: "LOL"