Bees and Love in General

-walking through the city, coming back from the grocers, holding hands-

Daughter: "Ahh! I don't like bees!"

Dad: "Bees won't hurt you"

Daughter: "They can sting you!"

Dad: "Well, yeah but only if they are threatened. If you leave them alone they won't hurt you."

Daughter: "I still don't like them."

Dad: "That's fine."

Daughter: "Will you protect me from bees?"

Dad: "Of course I will!"

Daughter: "Thank you daddy, I love you so much."

Dad: "I love you too pumpkin!"

-pause while waiting for the light to change-

Daughter: "But I love everyone."

Dad: "LOL"

The Doors Are Too Spacey

-driving in car-

Dad: "Hey, let's listen to some music"

Daughter: "OK, why?"

Dad: "Music is fun, you like music."

Daughter: "Can we listen to Jenny Lewis?"

Dad: "Sorry babe, Daddy needs to download Jenny Lewis, what about Sigur Ros?"

Daughter: "Ok! I like Sigur Ros!"

*long pause before music starts*

Daughter: "I don't like the Doors, they're too spacey."

Dad: *jaw to floor staring into rear view mirror at Daughter*

Pancakes

Dad: *waking up and slowly opening eyes*

Daughter *standing in front of me smiling*

Dad: "Good Morning, Sweety"

Daughter: "Make me pancakes with syrup."

Dad: "Can't I wake up first?"

Daughter: "You are awake."

pause............

Daughter: "Pancakes."

The Danger of Innocent Cakes

Daughter: (sitting on floor making a stack of lego's) Here's a cake for you!

Dad: Aw thanks! (proceeds to start eating the fake cake)

Daughter: No! No! No! You have to blow the candles out! You will burn your face!

Dad: Oh right! (blows candles out)

Daughter: You already ate the candles.

Dad: Ooops!

Daughter (grabs legos and walks away) It's not real daddy, you didn't burn your face.

Finger Friend

Daughter: (in back seat) *mumbling to herself*

Dad: What did you do at school today?

Daughter *continues mumbling to herself*

Dad: "Hey C, what did you do at school today."

Daughter: "Nothing"

Dad: "Oh, really? Nothing? All day you did nothing?"

Daughter *mumbling to herself*

Dad: "What are you doing?"

Daughter: "Be quiet!"

Dad: "What?" "What are you doing?"

Daughter *mumbling to herself*

Dad: "Who are you talking to?"

Daughter: "Shhhh!, I'm talking to my finger!"

Dad: ??????????.............

2 Cookies and a Pretty Father

Daughter: (putting barrettes in my hair) Here, you look pretty.

Dad: Thanks

Daughter: Here, put on this necklace.

Dad: I don't want to wear the necklace.

Daughter: You better wear the necklace.

Dad: Ok, whatever.

Daughter: (places necklace around my neck) There, Now you look pretty.

Dad: I thought I already looked pretty?

Daughter: I want another cookie.

Dad: Ok get one, but this is the last one, understand?

Daughter: Ok, ok, ok, I unnnerstand.

Dad: Good.

Daughter: You're pretty, I'll be right back with two cookies. (runs out of the room.)



...yes, I still have the barrettes in....

Clean Your Room.

Dad: "Hey C, we need to get going.. grab your stuff."

Daughter: "OK, ok, ok,"

Dad: "Are you all set?"

Daughter: (handing me her dirty clothes) "These need to go in the laundry."

Dad: "ok" (takes clothes from 3 year old turns and dumps them back on the floor)

Daughter: "Hey! That isn't the laundry"

Dad: "It's the pile for the laundry"

Daughter: "You need to clean up your room."

Dad: "Ok,ok,ok..."