I'll take the defibrillator to go, please.

Driving to somewhere...


Daughter: "DADDY!, DADDY!"

Dad: "Good God, WHAT!? *swerves*

Daughter: DADDY! LOOK!

Dad: I can't! Hold on a second."

*pulls over to the side of the road-car blares horn as it speeds by*

Dad: What is it?!

Daughter: "Pikachu can wear my sunglasses...."

Dad: *heart racing* "That's great...really great..."

Motormouth

*Daughter comes out of her room after waking up and rubs her eyes*

Dad: "Morning, Kiddo"

Daughter: *wraps arms around me and yawns* "Why am I talking so much?"

Dad: ?????

Don't be dissin' my tractin'

Tellulah: *dancing in the movie theatre at the end of a film we all recently saw.*

Daughter: *slightly embarrassed grabs T by the arm and proceeds to pull her towards the exit*

Dad: "What?! No dancing?!"

Daughter: "We're out of here!"

Tellulah: "Maybe we should come to your school and dance for your class!?"

*long pause.....*

Daughter: "No, because people will be tractin' on your dancing and not tractin' on their work!"

Are you getting all this?

I get into the car after filling it up, start up the car and slowly pull out into traffic...

Daughter:  "Speaking of the hush puppies in my head, I really want some hush puppies!"

Dad:  *...blank stare...* 

Further Adventures in Patient Coercion

Coffee made, lunch packed, light is switched on and the words "it's time for school" are softly spoken, only to be met wth contempt and dread and a full retreat under the covers.

Dad: "Hey sweety, time to get up for school."

Daughter: "I am SO not going to get up!"

*pulls covers over head and shrinks back into warm cocoon*

Dad: "The word for today is coercion."

Chloe: "It's not that I don't want to go to school, I just don't want to go yet."

Dad: "ok"

*goes back to something else*

Chloe: "Wait!"

Dad: "What?"

Chloe: "Will you help me get dressed?"

Dad: "Of course I will."

Chloe: "NOT YET!"

*slams covers back over head*

Criticising rap shows you're out of order

Casually getting on her pajamas...




Daughter:  "I wish I was still three."

Dad: "Oh yeah, why?"

Daughter: "Because three is the magic number."


---side note, as I was posting this Daughter saw the picture and exclaimed..."Is that me on the Moon!?"

Quite possibly the last time she'll believe in the fat old man.

It's been quite sometime since I posted one of these.  I can't decide if it is laziness, or that she has now started saying hilarious things so much I can't keep up...regardless.   This Christmas convincing her of Santa was harder than ever, she's 2 days away from turning 6 and with that comes ALOT more common sense.  I mean how does he get into our house if we don't have a chimney?  And don't get me started on the multiple Santa's around town stuff. Tellulah and I pulled it off again this time, or so I like to believe we did.

A few days after Christmas, coming up from the basement.....

Daughter:  "HEY! I know where Santa got the wrapping paper for my gifts."

Dad: *knowing I didn't put them away I kind of freeze trying to come up with something* "Oh, where?"

Daughter: *giant grin on her face pointing at pile of wrapping paper* "From down here."

Dad: "What!?" *runs down the steps and smiles* "Oh cool, Santa must have left his extra wrapping paper for us!"

--LONG UNCOMFORTABLE PAUSE--

Daughter: "Wow....he's really nice............but sneaky"

Dad: *turns to find her giving me a penetrating stare* "Yeah...sneaky...."